A couple of days ago, I caught sight of this article in the London Standard which was published a few weeks ago. If you can’t be bothered to read it, it basically talks about a guy who wanders around a park in Hackney, asking girls on dates while his friend films him. The idea being that he has been single for a while and he wants to meet someone the traditional way rather than simply online.
It turns into a kind of social experiment as the 33 year old man is on the whole, not successful. So the article begins to say how women appear to prefer online dating and don’t trust regular dating.
If you watch the video, it is true that the majority of girls do reject him. But this isn’t because traditional dating is being diminished by online dating as he implies. There are in fact two reasons for his lack of success:
Firstly – he asks them on a date right then and there. Not for their number, not for a date in the future… it has to be right then. If they are out and about, walking through the park, it is highly likely they would be going somewhere and would not be free. Therefore they would obviously say no. And as quite a few of the girls do refuse a date, that could be a strong factor that neither the article nor the two men who have made the video, seem to consider at all.
Secondly, he doesn’t actually put any effort in. One girl comments she might have said yes, if he had bothered to come up and ask how she was and what she was reading. But as he didn’t bother and just straight up asked her out for a drink, she refused him. And I can totally understand why.
I don’t think traditional dating is dying at all. In fact the majority of my friends are still very willing to be swept off their feet. If the opportunity arose, that is. They don’t mind being approached but it has to be done in a certain way.
The problem is, traditional dating is more effort than online dating. Instead of just swiping right on an iphone, tucked up in bed in your jim jams, you have to be up and dressed and proactive. You have to talk to people and take an interest in someone.
The talking bit is where most guys fall down, I think. Because yes, it is a little bit scary approaching a stranger and initiating a conversation. And yes you may not be successful. A general shyness in the population and a fear rejection is why so many guys don’t ask girls out on dates in the traditional way, I feel.
But surely it is so so much more rewarding? After those weeks of bumping into someone and getting to know someone, you will be satisfyingly close to each other. And the girl will appreciate that you have actually taken an interest in her. Plus you will now know enough about each other to make a date enjoyable. So if you ask her out, you will most likely get a positive answer.